A Glimpse Back, A Glimpse Forward

Next Monday my husband, Tom, and I will be together for 13 years. Wow 13 years.  I don't know how that much time has gone by to be honest.  This May will be our 10th wedding anniversary but next Monday will be the anniversary of the very first day we started seeing each other.

It's funny, that particular day seems like it happened a few years back and yet sometimes it feels like we've been together since the beginning of time and others it feels like it hasn't been that long at all.  I wish the newness was still there sometimes.  That anxious/excited feeling we used to get when we knew the other one would be coming over.  Now that feeling comes along when I know he's coming home and I haven't made dinner yet and I have to throw something together in time.  Not exactly the same thing....

Getting to know someone is always fun and scary and throws a thousand emotions into the air.  It's new and different, but somehow familiar and comfortable.  After all these years it's almost comical because you know everything the other person is going to do, what they will say or how they will react to a certain situation.  You have to keep it interesting I suppose.  It's not for the weary, that's for sure.  

If someone would have told me that the day I met my husband we would be where we are today I would have told them they are absolutely crazy.  If I could have warned myself on some key elements I sure as shit would have and I'm sure he would have done the same thing. Marriage is definitely not easy.  Take those vows as if they are the key to life; "for better, for worse, in sickness and in health" I know there was some other stuff in there too but that pertains to us the most. If we wrote our own I would imagine they would have went something like this; "Eventually you and I will get so damn irritated with each other that one or both of us would love nothing more than to slap the shit out of the other one, but since we aren't the domestic abuse type of people, we'll just bitch for three days and then get bored of it and call it a draw although I will really win because I am now legally your wife and just let you think you won.  You will do your hobbies irregardless of what I want you to do and leave your dirty socks and underwear all over the place, along with dishes in the sink, and not clean up after yourself after you shave.  I will bitch at you about all of the above along with anything else that comes our way including but not limited to; your mother, the dog prints on the clean floor, your mother, your lack of help, your mother, you not spending enough time with me, your mother, the lawn needing to be mowed, your mother, the garage being a mess, your mother, why the Christmas lights are still up in June and your mother.  That will about sum it up, oh and I forgot, your mother. We will constantly fight about our families because we were raised completely different, then we had our own kids and came up with our own way of raising them and neither your mother or my mother agree but your mother always says things to piss me off so I'll bitch some more."

Although if I said that I'm fairly certain he wouldn't have said I Do....Doesn't life sound grand?!  The truth is, I don't actually bitch much..in the beginning I know I was quite bitchy when we moved into our house, but I just wanted it to be perfect for him.  Luckily, that side is way out in left field somewhere now.  We have 2 children, that's where my time is devoted to now and where most of the yelling in the house comes from,  Funny how that shifted.  Here's the good part.....

When the days are crazy, the kids are running in 25 different directions, work is unbearable, our families are arguing, the house is a mess, I'm wearing Tom's underwear because the washer is acting up and my clothes aren't clean.....when life is simply falling down around us, I love him.  I am grateful for the last 13 years and I am hopeful for the next 13.  Yes, there are obstacles, yes, there are issues. There always will be.  We will always fight, our families will never get along, my personal feelings about his hobbies, will not change, his feelings about mine won't either.  Our kids will grow up, and thanks to the lovely examples set forth by certain family members, we know exactly how NOT to treat our children's spouses and their children in the future.  There had to be a silver lining somewhere.

Will we make it to 20 years?  Who knows.  I can only hope.  I would love to be one of those couples who can show their children by example that even in the tough times, there can be a happy ending. If it doesn't work out that way, well I would like to be able to say we tried our best.  I know we would if it came to that.  There isn't a whole lot to look forward to in life these days.  Every time I turn on the TV there is something awful going on in the world and usually in multiple places, growing ever closer to home.  The better life we can make for our family, the better off we'll all be.

Life is hard, marriage is hard, raising children is hard.... but anything worth doing is usually hard.  If you can look at it with a little humor, a little sass and a lot of heart, you'll be fine.  Live it your way. We only go around once...make it count.

Happy Anniversary Tom. I Love You <3