Life lessons, taught and learned....

Sorry peeps but I just have to sound off tonight....

I am slightly irritated and overwhelmingly hurt by certain people in this world who seem to think that just because things didn't work out the way we thought you just think you have the right to walk all over me and say anything you damn well please about me.  Let me tell you a little story there sweetheart.

Once upon a time there was a girl who lived her whole life just as everyone else does, one day at a time. Taking every new day as it comes and every good news with joy and enthusiasm and every bit of bad news with as much positivity as possible.  Then one day something happened to her, she got more bad news than she could handle and she just lost it.  She broke.  She sunk down to the very bottom of her existence and wasted precious time loathing in self pity.

Not many knew how bad off she really was but those who did, did everything they could to pick her up. Finally she came around and realized things could always be worse.  She was still breathing (against all odds) and there was room for improvement so instead of wasting away she was going to stand up and fight for her life back and get back to actually living it.

It took a long time but she did it.  She held onto the shoulders of her closest family and friends who were there for her through the toughest times in her life to date and she eventually found the strength to stand on her own to feet.  She got back into the swing of life and actually started enjoying life again.

With each day she got a little more enthusiastic about life and while she had bad days there was always something positive she tried to think about.  Unfortunately bad luck came her way over and over again so she did get knocked down a few more times but she fought back every time with the help of her family and friends.

There are somethings left inside her that are forever changed and altered that will never be the same. Sometimes she finds herself being bitter about them but she tries not to bring anyone else down about it. Quite often she turns to humor to mask it.

Oddly enough what she thought she had in some people she found to be fake or at the very least not as meaningful through these processes.  Once upon a time someone once told her "there is a reason every single person passes through our lives, every person teaches us a lesson."  I am still trying to figure out the lesson that I am being taught, that I have taught others or that I am teaching right now.  The person who said those words to me has no idea the impact she had on me.  I wish things were different with that whole situation too but I can't change what happened in the past, this is the hand I was dealt and what's done is done.

I don't like when people look at me and say one thing then turn around and whisper the opposite.  And I really hate when people look at me and make sly comments about my situation because you don't live my life.  Unless you have lived in my body you don't know my pain so maybe you should just shut your damn mouth.

I'm not a person to say one thing when I feel another, I'm going to tell you exactly how I feel and I'm not one to judge anybody especially by their disabilities or inabilities.  So maybe next time give me the same courtesy I give you and be upfront about your feelings.  I don't care if you don't like me.  You also don't know me or what I've been through.  I don't need you to pity me, I don't need you to play the game either.    

Life lessons are both taught and learned by everyone.  If you are unwilling to open your mind even a little bit then you aren't going to lead a very lonely and empty life.

Why? No really, why?

Sometimes I sit down at this computer and I just think about things.  Sometimes my thoughts are deep and meaningful; thoughts about life, my kids, my marriage, how I'm going to make it through the next day dealing with all this pain I'm in.  Other times I'm thinking about the most idiotic shit that comes in my head; why is my fish so loud? I'm hungry, should I pee now or do I wait?, I'm tired, I'm hungry, Do I repeat myself?  It's never a dull moment in my head....

Tonight just happens to be one of those nights where I am asking a non-rhetorical but seemingly unanswerable question....why is it that women can have babies, go through unbelievable amounts of pain with surgeries, labor, feminine issues, honey you name it, we get it, and men who while I'm not saying they don't get SOME problems but no where NEAR the pain women go through and yet they get a cold, or a paper cut and sweet Jesus the world is coming to an end!

I don't get it.  Seriously now boys I am not saying you all don't get sick and achy and while I fully understand how bad it sucks to feel like a pile of crap smashed on the bottom of someones shoes but for the love of all that is Holy grow a pair would ya?

Let's take a look here...a mom gets sick, she still cleans the house, cooks dinner, takes care of the kids, make sure the household bills are paid, gets the groceries, gets the kids to their sports games on time, makes sure the children are bathed, homework done and dishes are done before she sits down for 5 minutes to let that Motrin she took 12 hours ago set in.  A man get the sniffles and suddenly he needs a couch with a bottle of ginger ale, seventeen blankets, fourteen pillows, the remote control and a box of tissues all within reach and if it's not suddenly his stuffy nose is clear enough for him to call out your name a dozen times so you can walk from down the stairs with two baskets of laundry in your hands and a kid on each hip just so you could move that remote an inch closer to him and by God is he lucky you don't beat him to death with it.

Let's say that same mom comes home 3 days after giving birth, doesn't matter which way, either she squeezed that lovable bundle out of her who-ha that sweet little 7lb 2oz baby just felt like a watermelon squeezing through a kiwi good luck eating fruit later....OR she has a nice incision cut along the pubic bone and is either glued, stitched or stapled shut and any little tug, sneeze or stretch is going to pull the shit out of those bitches... not to mention to rigorous pain she just went through to get that baby out...

Anyway so you all just get home and it's time to feed the baby, maybe dad takes a turn it's a cute and giggly, but oh damn it poops!  Uh oh - right to mommy never mind the fact that she cannot sit or pee without it feeling like her world is on FIRE but yes let her do it.  Let her give the baby a bath too - sure she'd LOVE to bend over that damn tub or sink too BRING IT ON!

And boys don't get your panties in a bunch, all of you don't do this, some of you are very nurturing and helpful and take excellent care of your wives/girlfriends and new babies.  My point is that when it comes to pain you are all a bunch of bitches.  Women can take it all and you can't take a paper cut without calling for thirty six band-aids and some kisses from your mommy and I just don't get why.  I mean seriously.

Growing up I always saw men as this strong and buff figure of strength and as I get older I just see men being a bunch of wusses.  My hubby cuts his fingers open gets one little shot and is in bed for two days...come on dude where are your balls?!  His reply - "I took care of you when you got hurt"  My rebuttal "I had 2 c-sections, BRAIN surgery and BACK surgery within 6 months!  Find your balls!"   Just saying...

Again not all men...but a lot of ya.  So why, no really why?

The B*tch Switch

Folks tonight you are in for a real treat: I am going to give you all a HUGE gift.  There is a certain rule when dealing with women.  Now don't get all "you're a traitor to your gender" on me.  I can say these things because I am a woman, and I do in fact have what is affectionately called the "bitch switch".

For those who are unlucky enough to have flipped it on in the past you will know exactly what I'm talking about.  For those who have no idea what I'm talking about, buckle up and read on.  For those who finally get what it is I'm talking about by the end of this, you're welcome and knock your shit off.  Here goes:

Why is it that whenever you are in a good mood, full of playful delight someone can say one thing, just one thing and it can totally change your entire mood for the rest of the day and just make you IRATE?  Seriously I try really hard not to let that happen but sometimes there is that one button that when it is pushed I just fall off the deep end and it's like look the hell out or I will step all over you.

My brother used to call it the "bitch switch".  Ironically that used to piss me off even more.  It just seems so odd to me that all day long little things can come and go and get on our nerves, irritate us, make us angry but we let them go.  Think of how many mood changes we go through in a single day.  Well I do at least.  But there always seems to be that one nerve that once it's touched there is just no turning back.

Now a follow up question is why do people intentionally hit this nerve once they know how to do so?  What sort of sick pleasure are they going to get out of this?  Lets examine this:

Let's say you knowing just flipped this so called "bitch switch" which by the way is irreversible by all human measures and to boot, you know this, yet you did it anyway what is going to happen? (this does not apply to children by the way - only husbands, boyfriends, members of the opposite sex in general, friends, well I guess anyone except children)

1. I am going to yell, no, no I am going to scream at you
2. Once I am done yelling, I am going to walk away, possibly while making a one-fingered gesture
3. Once I walk away, I am going to ignore you
4. Don't try to talk to me until the horns retreat back into my skull, my tail retreats back into my ass and my pitchfork is stored safely in the closet.

See I am giving all you people out there a BIG gift right now...once that bitch switch is turned on, the devil is on the loose and if you're the one who flipped it, you better run like hell and hide until it gets turned off.  There is no need to ever flip that switch - so a word to the wise....LEAVE IT ALONE!

There are certain things that will automatically flip this: tell a woman she is gaining weight, ask her why would she wear THAT, point out her acne, ask her if she is on the rag or if she is P.M.S(ing), ask her "what did you do all day?", etc.  Not smart...just use common sense.  When it comes to friends: dating a friends' ex boyfriend, make besties with her worst enemy...instant bitch switch flip!

I'm not going to say I'm proud of any of this, nor am I trying to be a "traitor" but lets just stop with this nonsense.  People this is common sense.  You just don't piss people off on purpose, unless of course you are really trying to get yourself bitch slapped.  And with that I hope I leave you all with a little bit of bitch switch smarts.  Just my two-cents as always.

Do Not

Before you read this be aware that not all blogs are specific to one person or even to me.  Some are and some are generalized.  Sometimes I blog for others who are going through things.  Sometimes I blog for myself.  You can assume if you'd like, but even if you ask, I won't tell you who they are about so they're is no point.  I will be upfront about all personal ones as they relate to medical posts and all blogs that have personal information about myself for research purposes like the Chiari, A-Fib, Fusion, Etc. but the ones like the one below...you'll just have to wonder....

You don't get to treat me like a piece of trash.  You don't get to walk all over me anytime you damn well please.  Last time I checked you were not my superior, nor had any authority over me.  I will not bow to you so do not treat me as if I owe you a damn thing.  Your remarks are unwelcome and your lack of respect is infuriating.  Your attitude is intolerable and your pathetic knowledge of how not to bring down others when you're miserable is ridiculous.

I'm tired of you thinking you can waltz in here and speak to me the way you do.  I am not your child.  Even if I was your child, that tone would be unacceptable.  Who the hell do you think you are to talk to me that way?  I am done with your bullshit and your ridiculous, spiteful ways.  If this is the way you want it, I want no part of it.  Consider me out.

I do not ask for much, and I sure as hell did not ask for this.  I am over it.  I have been through too much shit to go through this garbage.  I grew up for a reason - to get away from all the petty bullshit drama that people like you love to put people through.  I am just sick of it.

I'm sorry that you feel that the whole damn world owes you something, and everyone else has it better than you do...yadda, yadda; boo friggen hoo.  Get over yourself.  You deal with the hand your dealt in life.  You take the good with the bad and play it out the best you can.  Suck it up and get the hell over it.  If you make it from sunrise to sunset with somewhat of your sanity, and some breaths left for the next day I'd call it a success.  You see it as a failure if you don't have something substantial happen.

We have a difference of opinion, that's fine.  But do not come at me with your shitty attitude and try to bring me down because you want to whine and bitch about who has it better or what you think should've happened today, I don't want to hear it.  Do not tell me what you think I need to do with my life - it's none of your effing business.  If you so much as open your mouth to me with one more comment that drips with disdain it is going to be an all out war between us, and so help me you will be bitch slapped.

Stop tearing me down to make yourself feel better.  It's shitty and ridiculous and frankly I'm tired of you doing it.  Do not force me to get more pissed off because I really don't want to go down that road with you.  Check your shit at the door when you want to come in my house, otherwise you can check your ass out, permanently.

You know you've done it

Standing out in the middle of the rain yelling at my dog like he's 1. going to answer me, 2. going to listen or 3. going to acknowledge my existence it dawns on me, I am that person THAT person that I so frequently ask "what the hell is wrong with them?!"  Yep, that's me.  Screaming at my dog who I am quite sure does this shit on purpose just looks at me like "keep yelling jackass cause between the two of us who looks like the jerk?!"  In the back of my mind I know he's right but that only infuriates me more.  He barks to go outside and always at the most inopportune time, like when it's pouring outside, or when I'm in the middle of changing my son's diaper, or if I'm in the middle of taking a shower or going pee (which I do not do simultaneously) . Of course when he gets out there he just barks at nothing, a leaf blowing by, a rock staring menacingly at him in the driveway or God forbid the wind blows!

My dog is a great dog in some ways, he is awesome with my kids and when he's not being a total pain in my ass he is a snuggle bug and he's very loyal.  However the other 23 hours and 45 minutes of the day he is a major pain in my ass.

This dog has tripped me and several friends and relatives with his chain, eats more play-dough and barfs it up than necessary and in the winter enjoys himself a nice poopsicle every so often.  I love my dog dearly but when I am standing outside screaming at him to get his ass inside and he just looks at me like "I don't think so bitch" he wears on my last nerve.

Lately he's been going out and pooping, scuffing his feet like a bull, then taking off in "hot laps", running in small fast circles around it.  So I ask him every time "Joey, WTF are you doing?"  Now I'm asking myself, why do I ask him?  It's not like he's going to answer me!

Quite often I stand out there talking to him, trying to coax him inside with treats when eventually I just call him an asshole and storm in the house.  I realized today there was a person walking (in the rain) as I was screaming "you're an asshole" to the dog.  Oops, I'm pretty sure she thought I was talking to her based on the look she shot me.  Although she was the one walking in the rain so if the shoe fits lady.....

I may be a jerk for screaming at him publicly but he's an ass for not listening and that's my excuse and you know you've done it too.....

Why I can and you can too

Ok last blog of the night because I'm getting really friggen tired....so I was just asked why blog to get things out there.  Ok first, I don't know - haven't done it before.  Sounded like a good idea so here I am.  Second, not much of a "sleeper" these days so I figured while the rest of this side of the planet sleeps, it might be a good thing to do and in light of my first sentence, it seems to be working.  Thirdly and most important I LOVE sounding off about random shit.  I don't know why, but I think everybody does.  Lots of times who the hell really wants to hear it?  This way, if you don't want to - don't read it.  Simple.  I tend to speak and then think so my mouth gets me in trouble A LOT, even though I am an adult so this way I can somewhat put my filter on, if I so desire.  So short(ish) and sweet, that's why the blog.  In theory because I can and in all reality you can too.  Thanks much and good night or good morning depending on where you are and how accurate your clock is.