Tonight I write about someone very special and about an event that happened over a decade ago. Yesterday marked the 11th anniversary of a very dear friend gone but never forgotten. Not many know of the tragedy that surrounded her death, only the select few that banded together during that awful time and somehow came out stronger on the other side are able to recall the events of that horrible time. I remember them as if they were yesterday. Today she popped into my head during a random phone call with a good friend and now I can't get her out of my mind so tonight instead of my silly antics I am going to pay tribute to a beautiful person who was taken far too soon, Aiesha L. Jackson.
I have written this blog twice already. I've not spent hours on it. I've gone into details surrounding her heinous murder and the unbelievable acts of violence that were committed against her and her family. I have talked about how I slipped into a deep depression - my first of many and how her death has shaped me into a completely different person.
After re-reading everything I wrote I thought about how those details aren't necessary for anyone to know. If you already know them, you don't want to relive them. If you don't, you'll sleep better not knowing. Instead I would like to tell you about how wonderful Aiesha was and how she helped me become a better person.
Aiesha was born on October 26, 1978 and died on July 30, 2002. She was 23 years young. She was beautiful, funny, smart, and had the most insane laugh you would have ever heard. She lit up a room when she walked in. She was also my first African American friend. She taught me a lot about race and how people can still be so unbelievably rude even this day in age to people of different races. It is absolutely appalling.
Aiesha used to talk about how she couldn't wait to have kids, she couldn't wait to get fat so she could just eat and eat whatever she wanted. She used to say "once I get fat, I ain't gonna try to get skinny again." It used to crack me up. She always thought I was so disgusting because I shave my armpits, she never did. She thought that was just the most horrid thing there was. She would wear wigs every other day just to change up her look. She taught me so much. I never knew anyone like her. She was daring, bold, outspoken, and just wonderful all around. Before I met her, I was shy, quiet, timid and I didn't say boo to anyone who didn't say it to me. She is the one who brought it out of me.
One night we went to Pizza Hut, our favorite spot. We had the same outfit [a red tank from Aeropostale and the same jeans (she filled them out much better than I did)] and when we got there we sat down and ordered like 20 breadsticks cause that's all she really liked. We were talking and laughing and there was an older woman sitting across from us and she just kept staring at us and mumbling and I will never forget when Aiesha asked her if she had a problem with us and her response was "what was a white girl doing eating with a black girl?" I was completely dumbfounded. It was 2002 for Pete's sake what the hell was this woman's problem?! I could tell Aiesha was about to go off but instead I did and I put that woman right in her place for probably the first time in my life and I didn't hold anything back. Aiesha's eyes got as big as the sun and she put her hand up, high fived me and told me I was the "bomb". We walked out of there with our heads held high and that lady had her mouth on the floor and even the manager of the place said "good for you" to us on our way out. Come to think of it I'm not even sure we paid for the breadsticks....
It was at that moment that I realized how much crap she must have had to deal with all the time. We didn't go back to that Pizza Hut, but it had nothing to do with that woman, we just never got the chance.
I went on vacation for a week, when I got back we had 2 days together, just 2 days. We worked one night together and then it happened. We were supposed to go to the Puerto Rican fest together but I ended up having to work late so I couldn't go. That night she was murdered at her home and she passed away the following day at the hospital.
That day is still so vivid. It seemed to last forever. There were police everywhere, tons of questioning, everyone seemed to move in slow motion. Police searched her locker, bagged a bunch of her things, it was weird to see the police tape on her locker. She was so amazing, and I just talked to her the night before, it wasn't even 12 hours before hand. It must've been a dream, a nightmare really. Things like that just don't happen in reality.
When she was taken so abruptly, so viciously, I didn't know what to do. I was so angry, so hurt. I had never dealt with anything like that before. What was I going to do without her? Who would want to hurt her? Why would anyone let this happen? So many unanswered questions....
I started to write a journal that ended up being more like letters to her. I started out writing to her multiple times a day, I didn't know how to say good-bye, how to let her go. I lashed out at everyone. Family, friends, co-workers. I went up one-side of anyone who was ever mean to her and down the other. I was so angry. The meaner the people were to her, the meaner I was to them.
I started to lose it...I saw her everywhere. I would stop random people and stare at them....it was never her. A bunch of us would go to her house and put flowers and teddy bears by the telephone pole to show her family we were thinking of them.
One day I just snapped. The t.v. kept flashing back to Aiesha's murder and they kept showing the EMT's wheeling her out on a stretcher, it was the last image of her alive that I have. So I wrote a letter to the newspaper and blasted the shit out of the police, and the entire justice system telling them how they failed her. I explained how it was all their fault and "what good were they if this happened?!" There were oodles and oodles of homicides that year. Well wasn't I just a fancy pants? They published the letter....and I was interviewed on the news....NOT A GOOD IDEA. All I wanted was justice for her. Instead I blasted the wrong people. The U.S. Marshals did catch the man who did it by the way and he is serving a life sentence without parole.
I'm sure my blasphemy was not what Aiesha would have wanted by any means. I just didn't know how to handle it. Looking back I made a complete fool of myself, and I'm sure she was probably telling me to shut the hell up from above. I think of her from time to time and I miss her.
I'm grateful that I had the privilege to know her. She taught me more about being a good friend, being a good person, and being true to yourself than she'll ever know. I only wish I could have had the chance to tell her that.
Aiesha was waked to a song by Ashanti called "Thank You" and they lyrics ring true forever: ....."I just want to say thank you, I love you, and I miss you...." If you want to hear the song here is the link for YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_EfF3x9Lek I also found that "I'll Be Missing You" remix by Puff Daddy was on my radion a lot. Somehow it made me feel like I was closer to her. To this day I think of her when I hear it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc2K10CrThw
I know she's up there shaking things up in her own way, just like she used to down here. It was such a hard time for all who knew her, and loved her. It's been 11 years, already over a decade and yet it still seems like yesterday. She may be gone but she'll never be forgotten.
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